I love that it is the new year. There is always so much possibility for a new year. And saying that one year ends and another begins makes me feel like time is quantified, and that somehow because the year is "over" I get a break. I get a moment to sigh with relief, maybe sleep in a little, and then ride out to meet the new year feeling new myself! (Even though really time keeps going and going and- well, let's not think about it! It's January after all!) It's like in The Hobbit when they stop at Rivendell, "The Last Homely House", and rest awhile before really fully setting out on their adventure... Well, it's sort of like that anyway.
And here we are at the New Year buffet and there are already so many opportunities on my plate. Like my girls at church.
I am (as soon as I get it together) going to lead a girls' small group, and while that excites me for sure, I am also intimidated to an extent. Me? Attempt to articulate how beautiful and loved they are in the sight of God? How He has an incredible and abundant life awaiting each of them if they choose it? Well, of course I will love that! But I have two kinds of feelings- 1. that is a big responsibility- what if I communicate poorly?? What if I say the wrong thing??? What if---???? and 2. God is so much bigger than me; I will totally depend on Him for help with setting an example for these young women. That's item one.
Item two: I need to embrace a spirit of joy at work- I mean at the coffee shop. Having had a good break from it, I feel that will certainly help me at the beginning to come back refreshed, my attitude included. But I don't want whether I've had a sufficient break or not to be what defines how I view working there! It's such a blessing of a job! In fact, I don't think I could ask for anything better right now. Shouldn't the resulting behavior include being joyful at work? Yes, but it's hard. So, that's something I have to ask the Lord's help on.
Item three: May I just be the first to postulate the understatement of the year? Here goes: I am learning how to be a worship minister. Woohoo!! Now we've officially brought in the new year! I have so many hopes and prayers for the worship team this year. But what I most desperately want is for God's vision for our team- and for our church- to be my vision, and for the strength to cast it. It is so easy to get caught up in some idea you have that you think will just be perfect that you can miss what is really going on, or what's most important. And speaking of most important...
Item four: What I most desperately want is the Holy Spirit. The Lord has made it clear to me that I must cast myself utterly upon Him, must delight in Him. I can't live like the old self- I must throw that away like an old garment that doesn't fit any more. I must live in a new way- rejoicing in God's victory over my battles that He's already won, God's grace which I enjoy, and God's glory which I long to- as David Platt says- extend. And I want to do this in every place. Not just church, but at the Coffee Company, at home with my husband, with my family, friends, and when I'm all by myself. Filled with the Holy Spirit, this is possible.
It is a new year after all!